I take the night sky in my hand And bathe in second-hand sunlight A chance for enlightened reflection To seek meditation at midnight To travel though light years of musing Recycling my thoughts and my insight I take the night sky in my hand And bathe in second-hand sunlight Now, from the night sky, on my face A droplet of second-hand sea Whose parents were stormclouds and whirlpools The morning's wet tears on a tree Plus myriad others since water was young Once even a T-Rex's pee Hmm. Now, from the night sky, on my face A droplet of second-hand sea I take my instrument in hand And sing a second-hand song I pluck the words of humankind And string them most kindly along I use only words born before me So no-one can tell me I'm wrong I take my instrument in hand And sing a second-hand song

I reach my hand out On the bedside table Right, so far, so good I miss the water, Penknife, and razor, Right, so far, so good And in a twist of vengeful fate A fist connects with sensor plate How swift the hellish noise abates So far, so great So far, so good I stagger to the bathroom Without drama Right, so far, so good The handle turns I shrug off pyjamas Right, so far, so good And in my torpid, naked state I give my corpus half-sedate The cleanest of the cleanest slate So far, so great SO far, so good I towel myself off In the morn's insanity So far, so good I pick the toothpaste tube Up off the vanity So far, so good I gently squeeze the next colgate Upon the willing razor blade And raise it to my dental plate So far, so great So far, so... Whoa. I put the willing razor On the counter Right, so far so good And try hard not to picture That encounter Right, so far so good For tracks for trains I have to make I carry on, for timing's sake But just-so-slightly more awake So far, so great So far, so good

Every last decision you have ever ever made Every single syllable to fierce escape your lips Every path you've followed, every game you've ever played Every choice you've chosen in each moment unto this Every little footstep your intrepid feet have taken Each time you acceded, every time that you refused Every opportunity, commanded or forsaken Every moment wasted, and each one you wisely used Every last encounter, the benign and the malignant Every day you've ruined, and each one you've made anew Every smile you've drawn and all who stormed away indignant Every life you've touched and all that did the same to you Every thought that crossed your mind and every word you've spoken Each moment of weakness, every time that you were strong Every sacred hour you've slept and each second you've woken Every last decision whether proven right or wrong Has eventually led you to be here Has eventually led you to be here And listening To This song

I'm a waiter (One more factor - Also an aspiring actor) Now a walk-on I've been handed Like a weighty fish I've landed But the detail Will devil ya As it all rings quite familiar For my role In this new fable Is more waiting on these tables! So I almost do my real job As I almost do my dream job So I wait (and do my real job) As I wait to land my dream job! It's all very simple, really I'm an actor... Maybe later But for now, an acting waiter Now I've landed This great walk-on I've a weighty point to talk on How familiar All these details Of this gastronomic retail So these tables I'm patrolling While the cameras keep on rolling! So I almost do my real job As I almost do my dream job So I wait (and do my real job) As I wait to land my dream job! And I'm caught between these universes Touching at the seams A server's wage, the world a stage Reality and dreams While never living quite one life And never its reverse In hope to take that hopeful break And break the server's curse I'm a waiter (One more factor - Also an aspiring actor) Now an actor Maybe later But for now an acting waiter So I almost do my real job As I almost do my dream job So I wait (and do my real job) As I wait to land my dream job! As I wait to land my dream job, So I wait (and do my real job) Thus I almost do my dream job While I almost do my dream job! It's all very simple, really. Right. Thank you for coming in. We'll let you know.

I never saw my parents One image still remains Perhaps a premonition Or a solitary frame That lingers from a sequence In a dream that mostly fled Their watercoloured silhouettes With hats upon their heads CHORUS So my search goes on, ever onward Over vast and foreign shores Knowing one day, I will find them And we'll be as one once more I never knew my mother Though I hear in whispered tales She crossed the seven seas With many flags upon her sails Her eyes flash for a second Like the faintest verdant glim And curls of chocolate swish Beneath a wide and crimson brim CHORUS I never saw my father Though I sometimes hear his name They speak of eyes of kindness Peering through a rounded frame And though that fading image Can't describe him to the letter My mind's eye holds a knitted hat And stripes upon a sweater I'll walk the length of every road, and knock on every door And search my whole life for them like so many have before CHORUS I never saw my parents One image still remains Perhaps a premonition Or a solitary frame That lingers from a sequence In a dream that mostly fled Their watercoloured silhouettes With hats upon their heads

Hey, stranger. How's tricks? Lovely weather out there Is that a cappucino that you're cradling with care? You clearly came here to be lost with your muse But I have here an offer that you cannot refuse We've beaches and bushwalks and bicycling tracks Not one day goes by where no-one gets a flat There's boarding and blading all set up in the park We can't find the skates for them, but you might... in the dark Dammit! CHORUS Life's bound to taste foul if you're filled up with bile And life's little hiccups are great for a smile So please stop on by and stay for a while On dammit isle, on dammit isle We're famous for parties, our bars and cafes The pots always boil when we first look away The bassline will quicken the pace of your heart The sound's always pumping, at least 'til you fart We've discounts for workers (heh, heh) til five o'clock Our T-shirts are so chic, but they are all out of stock We finished the promo video just yesterday It's all up on Youtube - here, let me push play Never gonna give you up, Never gonna let you down, Never gonna run around and... Dammit! CHORUS BRIDGE We've got the rest cure if you've caught Schadenfreude The one natural high truly better avoided If life's only funny when it hits someone else Ve have vays of helping you to laugh at yourself CHORUS So do me a favour and come for a visit The barge leaves in... oh, shoot, looks like you've just missed it It's time I that was leaving, my story's been told You've not touched your coffee. I think it has gone cold. Dammit!

Six elephants of Indostan To learning much inclined, Who went to see the human being (Though all of them were blind), That each by observation Might satisfy his mind. The First approach'd the human being, And, as was his dear wish He placed his toe upon his head, With an almighty squish: "My word!" he slurred, "the human being Is very like a dish!" The Second came to take his turn, And cried 'You nailed it, mate!' So very round and smooth and short? There's no call to debate - This wonder of a human being Is very like a plate!" (This elephant was a recent migrant from Australasia, where we don't actually have eleoh shut up) The Third approached the poor old man, And happening to tug His heel across the sad morass, (consider it a hug): Cried "I believe this child of Eve Is very like a rug!" The Fourth reached out his eager foot, And felt a fellow flat. "What most this wondrous beast is like Is mighty plain," he spat, "'Tis clear enough this man of God Is very like a mat!" The Fifth, who chanced to touch the mass, Said: "No more can I teach ya - A fool can lecture on his shape; There's nary scope to cheat ya, This hero of a hominid Is very like a pizza!" The Sixth no sooner had begun About the man to founder, Then, seizing on a sort of beast With none wider and rounder, Did quip, "I see, this fellow, he Is very like a flounder!" And so these Elephants concurred Without semantic swerving, Each of their shared opinion All were righteous in deserving, Although their methodology Was just a bit self-serving! MORAL So oft in scientific hunts, The truth, it must be lettered Is that which we strive to observe Is not nature unfettered, But nature trapped and bound To our interrogation method!

Claire-Annette Amanda-Lynne Play music for The band I'm in Amanda-Lynne Plays the clarinet The Mandolin? That's Claire-Annette CHORUS Amanda-Lynne And Claire-Annette Play on Through that orchestral set Claire-Annette In hand her plectrum Plucks out a Symphonic Spectrum With gentle airs Across the reed Amanda-Lynne Is fine indeed CHORUS BRIDGE The curtain's up The lights are down Expectant silence all around They wait for magic to begin For Claire-Annette And Amanda-Lynne Claire-Annette Amanda-Lynne Make harmony From tensi-on Amanda-Lynne Will purse her lips And Claire-Annette? A perfect fifth CHORUS x 2

1. I walked into an empty room Wandered through the open door And just like that, the empty room Was empty no more 2. I thought about my empty head My inner voice swelled to a roar And just like that, my empty head Was empty no more 3. I felt my spirit's gentle pull What was empty now is full 4. I held in hand an empty glass One which finest whiskey wet And just like that, the empty glass Remained empty yet 5. I thought about my empty heart A trespass never to forget And just like that, my empty heart Remained empty yet 6. My thoughts sat heavy on my brow What was full is empty now 7. And all I ever hoped to be Sat halfway to infinity To vanish or replenish at my will And all that soon would come to pass Lay halfway up a hollow glass For one halfhearted soul to void or fill 8. I thought of my half-empty head I drew the strength to be strong-willed And just like that, my half-empty head became half filled 9. I thought of my half-empty heart Though wounded, it could not be killed And just like that, my half-empty heart became half filled 10. This glass which halfway empty sat Is now half full and I'm OK with that

We came Into each others' lives One granite day in June Seven thousand miles From when your own Began And though You wore your place of birth Forever on your sleeve I never hatched Homecoming As a plan Across the seas to Bangladesh Across the earth and sky CHORUS Beneath our toes The earth shall spin I'll hold you close Like a second skin And show you all You've never known Welcome home Behold A world where sky meets sea And sand will ever stretch Where the mangroves And the marshes Hug the coast Behold A land of heat and light Two hundred million footsteps Falling to the earth And leaving Like a ghost Across the seas to Bangladesh Across the earth and sky CHORUS And watch the smoke the sun eclipse From shirts and shells, and shoes and ships All tumbling from the belt - go forth, you're sent While deep inside, amidst the rattle Workers work, hemmed in like cattle Toiling, toiling for their daily cent I bought you From a bargain rack One granite day in June Seven thousand miles From where your maker Dwelt And never stopped to think Until this day Of where you came Where your stitcher Played the hand That he was dealt Across the seas to Bangladesh Across the earth and sky CHORUS x 2

I caught a wild moment By surprise Entrapped it in a snare And stole it from the past Where it might stay Naive and unaware A flash, a click It found itself in chains And placed within somehow The strange and hostile zoo That is their future And my here and now *instrumental* I saw the wild moment In its frame Still frozen as it was So silent in its solitude In permanent And peaceful pause I stopped, and thought a moment Then I knew I had the pow'r to choose With just the lightest waver Of my hands To set the moment loose CHORUS A touch upon the right and then The left, until at last I'll free this captive moment To the sanctum of the past And sometimes it's a litter One of many Almost all alike But set apart by blinking eyes Or voids within A light beam's strike Then all but one may be released Lay down their imprint For the cause To thus, refine a moment passed And breed the greatest Is that was CHORUS BRIDGE And so, a moment goes For no more eyes to ever see But in its place, a peace remains A picture freed - Be free

Five were the grown men. All in a line. A doctor, a lawyer. An officer fine. A calloused mechanic. A thief of the den. All in a line. Were the five grown men. A lawman, a foreman. A scribbler of wills. A picker of pockets. A curer of chills. Each had their profession. Cut down to an art. But only one had my best interests. At heart. But who, my friends, oh who? It's not the one who'd satisfaction. Draw from my most foul infraction. Firing fees which scarce abate. My friends, it's not the advocate It isn't he who lives in hope that all my inners fail to cope. With every stress my life withstood. My friends, it's not the doctor good. And it's not he whose heart's desire's. That I'd be a crook, a liar. Fit to swing from Gallows Hill My friends, it's not the constable. It's not the one who's daily bread. Is drawn from cracks and engines dead. With my old wreck his master plan. My friends, it's not the garage man. The only one who'd wish me health, prosperity, and untold wealth. Success until my last relief. My friends, 'tis he - the common thief!

The Salamander Balthazar Impressive by its name A creature frigid cold of blood Yet born of raging flame It twines each tree with toxin And sacred fire it slings Its skin the suit of emperors Its hair the robes of kings So long ago, a Balthazar This lord of every land Once found itself within the clutch Of one old wrinkled hand It thrashed its limbs of litheness Its jaw would snap and nip But all this pomp and circumstance For naught - he held his grip As man and beast were tickled by The gentle kiss of rain The old man's grin was crooked As the harried beast would lurch Relief sat on his forehead As success became his search Then tossed within a canvas bag Was Balthazar the chief As wizened fingers set once more To turn each stone and leaf As frantically he foraged for Another soul to glean For what's a king of searing light Without his fiery queen? He pulled, he clawed, he tore aside He flinched, he second-guessed Determined that he wouldn't meet With failure in his quest As man and beast were smattered With the cold caress of rain Bedraggled beard and sandals blunt The man came frantic in his hunt Through ravaged logs and sodden ground No Eve for Adam could be found This blazing star without a mate, The old man fled, disconsolate As winds and tides and clouds would swell Consigning all to misty hell! And man and beast were bitten By the wintry teeth of rain The Salamander Balthazar Was then, at last released He scurried back onto the grounds He owned from west to east And saw the parting shoulders Of this man of many years The raindrops on his robefront mixed With bitter, stinging tears He turned once more, and murmured One last prayer of anguished thanks Then placed a weary sole upon His vessel's wooden planks With Balthazar left wondering Who was that ragged man? And never quite to understand The essence of his plan And man and beast saw forty days And forty nights of rain... Comments

Three wise men of Indostan (Riiiiiight. Stop that at once. Natalie Merchant already wrote a song about wise men of Indostan, and you did that daft parody about elephants stomping on people. And you just came off the back of a song about a shirt from Bangladesh. Why don't you aim for another part of the subcontinent? What about Laos? Nobody ever writes about Laos. OK. The three wise men are from Laos. Got it? Sheesh. Start again). Three wise men of Vientiane, Capital of Laos Lined themselves up facing north Soldiers in a Raos... Row, *cough*. Each wore a hat selected From a fivesome on a rack Three of palest milky white And two of deepest black The wise man at the forefront Could perceive not either friend The others, only he who stood More near the northern end A voice rang out 'Your mission - To discern your bonnet's colour Though you cannot see your own hat Or talk to another fuller.. fellow, sorry The scene ensued so tranquil Girt without a hint of violence A moment passed, before the man Most northern broke the silence "khaphachaokho mikhuaamsuk thi lik khongkhaphachao pen sik" (Riiight. Stop that. What the hell are you doing?) [Well, he's from Laos, you see, It seemed only natural that he would speak -] (And do you think any of your listeners do? Translate in haste. And make it rhyme.) [*Exhales*] A moment passed, before the man Most northern broke the silence "I declare with delight That my hat is pure white!" Indeed, it was so But how Did He Know? *Instrumental* Although the men were worldly, wise Not one was a magician But each was perfect in their logic - Perfect three logicians The rear man knew his only chance To speak with certainty The colour of his headgear Was for him to clearly see That both black hats were sitting On the pates of those ahead But what he saw was white as snow And so no words he said The middle man thought therefore 'If a black hat I did face, I'd know for sure that mine was white' But that was not the case With black and white left in the pool No more could be inferred About what lay upon his head So he said not a word The front man took this silence As a prima facie proof That his own hat could not be black And thus he said aloof... (Well, what?) [Well, I already told you what he said. He said 'I declare with delight that my hat is pure white'. Weren't you listening?] (Look, it's a sodding song. You're allowed to say the same thing more than once. In fact, it's actively encouraged for key themes and... you know, I don't have to explain this to you. Just sing!) [*Exhales* "I declare with delight That my hat is pure white!" Indeed it was so But how Did He ... [This is stupid. I've just spent five verses explaining how he came to that conclusion, it makes no sense to ask the listener-] (Look, how many times do I have to tell you? This is a song. You can repeat things in songs even after the listener's already heard them, I) [But it's a riddle! The riddle's already been answered! There's absolutely no sense in asking twi-] (IT'S. A. SONG. Did Bob Dylan just stop singing after he said the answer was blowing in the wind? No he arsing well didn't. And they gave him a Nobel prize for it) [This is ridiculous. I quit]. (YOU CAN'T QUIT! I FIRE YOU!) [YOU CAN'T FIRE ME! I QUIT!] (YOU CAN'T QUIT!, I *Both are drowned out by a chord in the vein of the Beatles' 'A Day in the Life'... *End*