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Theresa Johnson - Felis Catus

from Now! That's What I Call Wordsmith by Stephen Wordsmith

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If you like cats, this is for you. If you don't like cats, this is also for you.

If you've ever wondered what Katie Melua would sound like if she sang a naughty word, this is most definitely for you.

lyrics

CHORUS
Some people desire to be lions
Some others prefer to be cats
The mad little hatters, who'd opt for the latter?
Just what do you make of all that?

A lion's a king of the jungle
The top of the lunchable chain
A roar like Pat Benatar, teeth like a scimitar
Wrapped in the bushiest mane

And so full of grace is his dinner
For everything 'round him is prey
You're safe from your plight if he's sleeping tonight
But the hunger's just a whim away

a whim away, a whim away...

CHORUS

A kitty-cat's little-bit smaller
A cute and adorable thing
You're fine, baby bunting, his targets for hunting
Are meeses and pieces of string

But kitty-cats have the last chuckle
Yes, they've got one up on the lion
They get the most value from humans, I tell you
And do it without even tryin'

CHORUS

BRIDGE
For what's around this mortal bone?
A dozen dozen pounds of flesh
(Though slightly more in San Antone
And slightly less in Bangladesh)
A single snack for those in Prides
But otherwise, a lifetime's source
Of ready meals served tableside
For felis catus kits, of course

CHORUS

EPILOGUE
So all throughout their lives
of two and seven
Their owner sees to it
that they've not fasted
And when the owner shuffles
off to heaven
They'll eat them anyway -
cause cats are bastards

credits

from Now! That's What I Call Wordsmith, released October 7, 2019
Written and recorded for February Album Writing Month, 2019

Lyrics by Stephen Wordsmith
Vocals, all instruments and production by Theresa Johnson: soundcloud.com/theresabarj

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Stephen Wordsmith Wellington, New Zealand

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